Brrrr, Baby, It’s Cold In Here

December 23, 2010 at 8:29 am | Posted in Adrian Miller Sales Training, Adrian's Network, meetings, Networking, New York Sales Trainer, public speaking, sales | 1 Comment


It’s cold in here. How can that be? I could have sworn that I was “invited” to this event but it just doesn’t feel that way and it’s not just my imagination.

You know the scene. You’re invited to a little networking gathering because the members have decided that guests are important. They say that they want to grow their group. You get there right on time because you understand the etiquette involved and want to make a good impression. You walk in, don your name tag, stand around for a wee while and then, well, nothing.

You spy folks clustered in little groups sporting name tags that show they are members of the group and not guests. You try to make eye contact but there seems to be none of that. There are few, if any, folks standing about on their own and so you decide to walk over and introduce yourself.

(Full disclosure at this point: I AM NOT an introvert and yet this situation has happened to me as well!)

The “clusters” look up, provide what is definitely just a perfunctory greeting, respond to your queries about what it is they do and then turn back to their conversation without actually including you.

Now while I know that seems pretty extreme and maybe I am being a tad over-dramatic this is not all that far from the truth.

I also know that I have painted a pretty grim picture and yes, it doesn’t occur all that often. But I ask you, why does it happen at all? What a strange and unbelievable trip it is to be invited to something and then to not be warmly welcomed. Dysfunctional, yes?

Has this ever happened to you? I know that this experience has made me an even better networker finding it ever so important to be certain to welcome, introduce and follow-up with folks that attend my events.

But I believe that I am in the minority.

What’s been your experience? Am I alone here or are there others that have had this happen as well?

1 Comment »

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  1. What an interesting post. Yes, this sometimes happens to me. I’m not naturally outgoing, and tend to kinda stand there hoping someone will come and start talking to me. If everyone is in groups and I hover near one, I would get the same bad feeling you describe. Then I feel totally out of place.

    I think getting there first might be something to strive for, because then everyone has to come over to you!


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